A Different Kind of Undecided Voter

My absentee ballot came three weeks ago and I haven’t mailed it in yet. In fact, I haven’t even been looking for it; I found it last night by accident, carelessly stuffed between a bill and my bank statement. The reason my ballot hasn’t been shipped off to Florida yet is because I’m still undecided. Not about a candidate – I’m undecided whether I even want to vote this year.

Before everyone jumps on a soapbox and preaches about how important voting is–I’m writing this post out of frustration with the campaigns, today’s election process, and my own shifting ideals. I already know voting is important and a privilege. I don’t take it lightly, which makes it even more difficult for me, since neither candidate evokes the excitement that many in my generation are feeling.

I grew up admiring the U.S. political process. I thought moving to D.C. during this historic election year would make me even more passionate about voting. I hoped for a candidate who would inspire me to attend rallies and volunteer at campaign offices. Our country is in desperate need of a change in direction, and I wanted to find a champion who would lead us.

“Change we can believe in?” “Country first?”

Those are slogans I’d love to vote for, only both candidates seem to have forgotten them along the campaign trail.

When I first realized it would be an Obama/McCain election, I was elated because I thought both were exceptional choices. I was proud of the U.S. and the major parties for nominating the first black candidate and a former POW who had been a powerful force in the Senate. Both senators are inspirational for very different reasons, and while I still admire them, I find myself disagreeing with too much of their platforms and campaigns to aggressively align myself with either.

Campaign advertising from both candidates has gone overboard. I am so sick of the ads telling me how liberal/conservative one candidate is or how much money I’ll lose in a given administration. Don’t tell me what the other person is doing wrong or push sound bites taken out of context. Tell me what you are going to do. Tell me how American life will improve under your administration.

Also, the media has played a huge role in my disillusionment and apathy. For weeks, I couldn’t read the Washington Post or New York Times without seeing countless negative articles that delved into personal issues rather than policy. The media made my stomach turn, and it frustrated me as a citizen and a student of mass communications. It looked as though all major papers had turned into gossip rags instead of asking tough questions and examining complex issues. With an economic crisis and the situation in the Middle East, do I really care about Obama’s 1983 thesis or Palin’s college transcripts?

Despite watching all the debates and studying both candidate’s platforms, I still don’t think I’m educated enough on all the issues to make a sound judgment about who can lead this country best.

I’m jealous that so many other people think they know who the best choice for our country is. I eavesdrop on the political discourse taking place around D.C., and everyone seems to be ecstatic about this year’s election. But when I ask them how they really feel, almost all of my friends say, “Well, the candidate I was pulling for didn’t make it, so I’m settling.” And that’s what I really want to know: why should we have to settle?

My absentee ballot shows 13 presidential tickets. There are twenty-two people I have never seen before campaigning for the highest office in our country. Why weren’t these candidates represented throughout the political process, especially at the debates? Obviously it has a lot to do with funding and the debate access laws, but these seem like poor excuses in a country that stresses equal opportunity for all.

Another reason why this election is difficult for me is because I have grown into a new set of ideals and beliefs over the past few years. I was raised by devout Catholics who taught me the importance of community service and generosity. And those values stick with me. I value the freedom that provides people with opportunities to do what is best for them so long as their actions do not infringe on the rights of others. That’s where I split with my family on issues such as gay marriage and women’s healthcare.

So, socially, I’m liberal. And fiscally, I’m conservative. But for the most part, I’m moderate. But as a moderate, I feel like I’m sacrificing too many issues that are important to me by declaring an allegiance to either ticket. Until I can vote for a candidate I believe in, I don’t think I can settle for either Senator Obama or Senator McCain.

photo credit: Question! from -bast-